From a not yet written book…

I always loved to travel, go places, so in my darker days I used to say that “where I lay my head is home” – very metallic thought, part true, part not – it’s a complicated equation: the place itself + other, please specify X (value of other). Comfort has many facets. Through the years I realized that things are never easy (at least not for me) and most of all I am a very complicated specimen. I still love to travel, be on the road, see the world, not standing still and always see and experience new things. There is always a huge smile on my face when I plan an escape and it appears that by the passing of the years “talpa imi arde” more and more. And I would visit Peru, Cuba, Australia or Thailand, but would I live there? Mom always told me “careful what you wish for”. One of my favorite Christmas songs says “try to imagine a house that’s not a home” – kinda hard; a pool, a piano, expensive furniture and latest technology don’t make a home or do they? It’s like those cliché commercials – half of the screen shows you only the objects, the other half shows you with whom you share the joy of a parachute jump, a beach walk, a great drink, a silly movie, sharing the last slice of pizza, a sunrise, who do you run to tell a great news, a funny joke, show the picture of a fluffy dog, the next level at Minion rush or sad news, deep thoughts that don’t let you sleep and hidden “monsters under your bed”. Makes you wonder "Who do you wanna wake up next to?" All the money in the world won’t compensate a good laugh or making somebody giggle. I love that look in people’s eyes when something very small makes them very happy. "Home is where your heart is” – I believe Pliny the Elder first said it, very true, we kinda value things when they're gone. I never had a 5 year old plan, but I think ahead of the Christmas that has to come and always at the next travel destinations, its painful not to see beyond a certain day, its like the oracle stop its prediction. I always liked that line “We can never see past the choices we don't understand…you've already made the choice. Now you have to understand it”. Decision, decisions, decisions – how if I go to bed thinking yes and wake up thinking no...

Safe place

El juego/the game

Long long time ago, when I was very young, I started playing a game, a computer game. It was all new to me, i have never played such a game before. Of course in my childhood I played Mario, Chicken invaders, Zuma etc. but nothing too complicated...It was very interesting, intriguing, versatile even. I was eager to read about it, meet and talk to people who played it, I would stay all day and even late at night playing and learning more about it. All my energy and time were focused on this. All the action was happening on a big ship, that was an extension of the mother ship, who we actually never saw, we only saw signs or mysterious characters that were coming from it. These characters were given default by the game, who were coming with strategies, decisions and the game would slightly change/have a turn. You could play it online or offline, you were on your own, but not exactly. We were each part of a team, each team had also small quests, but the highest common purpose was to get the ship reach/find a specific number of enemies & convert them to our species, all in a specific Z-time units which changed from level to level. I won't get into details but this was the main idea. Rules changed from time to time and players needed to adapt. Some players were new, while others were older at the game. Some had different titles like master, tutor, help, assistant or even grandmaster whom you could ask for advice or weapons in exchange for your Z-time or another one of your resources etc. The beauty was that it was played in teams, had gatherings, elaborate strategies, besides your personal one, also common strategies to attack a specific enemy. The entire stage/design, graphics, the weapons, ships, gadgets, resources and all were all cool and very tech like, it was a very real world that could really catch you, absorb you and make you a part of it. Some of us were getting attached to the idea/concept, some made friends, alliances, even after game meetings. And it all seemed very fair, out front/in the open/on the up and up. It seamed no one was cheating, no one was a double agent, no one stabbed you in the back, it all seamed very fair, honest and moreover it seamed if you need something and you had the resources and the ability to contact the help/master you could. It was the best game of its kind and that made the players proud. Sometimes there were players who left the game. Maybe they found a different one, more interesting, on a different idea, different players, a new setting etc... Of course this game had principles like other computer games had, but it also had some particularities, some distinctive marks that made us such fans, for example the graphic was fantastic. For many years I had this fascination with it, it seemed more and more like a family, like the other players care about you and were ready to help you at any time, a special world were you felt like you belong. As I said rules changed and at a point some players were considered not fit to play the game, not playing enough, playing differently, being different, not into the game enough. The game, the game creators were showing their power, they had their own goal to achieve - the game's success & profit, a specific strategy and only suitable players, which played in a specific way were allowed or kept. It was more and more obvious that it was a world you had no power, no control, no matter how much you respected the rules, the levels, the code. It didn't matter your overall score, the scores in alliances or the fact that you were in the game since older versions. When i left i had different alliances, friends, strategic allies. I would have liked them to see the game through my eyes, with its flaws, errors, injustice, not just the perfection, they did not see it, it's like they had glasses on, it was like i was kicked out of the mother ship and was not allowed to take anyone with me. Truth was we were not making the rules, we were just the players, the army, the fighters with the illusion that we are in control and actually we controlled... nothing.

Bicicleta pentru o biciclista :) (oil on wood)