Cluj iunie 2013

strange sensation

Sometimes I get the feeling, while walking down the street that I am not alive anymore, that I am an illusion or a memory of myself. I get the feeling I left myself behind, as in I died at the last crossroad. I feel like if I would look behind I would see myself lying on the pavement with blood around and all. It is a strange feeling, like a detachment and it gets stronger just like a confirmation, if a car just ran too fast by me and I avoided it or if somebody hit my shoulder by accident as if I was not there. It's the feeling that people cannot see me anymore and I feel the transition process happening in my mind. The awareness that I am no longer, washing over me, overwhelming me, the brain trying to realize and to comprehend what is happening, the struggle to internalize that I may have died hit by that van that was going too fast or maybe it happen last night in my sleep and my soul still got up, got dressed out of reflex or as a memory of what my mind knows it should be doing, never noticing i lost my body.